The Year That Was: Highlights and Learnings

As the year comes to a close, I look back on the things that happened to me this year. To quote my boss, 2010 was my year. I roared in this year of the tiger. A lot of good things happened. A lot of blessings. Sometimes, I stop to think if I really deserved them all. Was I worthy of all those? No one can answer that but He who gave all those to me. And for that, I'll forever be thankful.

This 2010, I:

1. Fell in love and was loved in return, even more than I expected.
2. Got promoted from editorial assistant to staff writer.
3. Got to travel to new places. I experienced my first plane ride, been to a place out of Luzon, and out of the country (Hong Kong! Yeah!).
4. Engaged in a sport and met new friends.
5. Got introduced to my boyfriend's family and felt thankful and happy to be accepted.
6. Wrote new poems and found people who appreciate them through this blog.
7. Experienced being a "recording artist" (hahaha!) when we recorded songs for our office Christmas Party, and got to know and make friends with quite a lot of my officemates.
8. Got a medal because our team won third place in last summer's Heads Up Summer Clinic.
9. Had a sweet and unforgettable birthday.
10. Was genuinely happy.

I wanted to always be positive and attract good vibes, and that's just what I did! Now, I realize that if I would always welcome each day with a smile on my face, the world would always smile back. That if I would let go of my emotional baggage, my hands would be free to carry better ones. That if I continue to trust and have faith in Him, there would always be beautiful days ahead.

And with this, I can say that my song for 2010 is I've Had The Time of My Life. Because, yes, in 2010, I felt that way, and I'm positive that it's a start of wonderful years of loving, living, smiling, and being happy.



And one more thing about my 2010. If I were to describe it, aside from the words I've said above, I would use a line from Katy Perry's Teenage Dream - no regrets, just love. :)

Teenage Dream

As I was doing my aimless net surfing, I suddenly remembered Boyce Avenue and how I loved their covers. So I visited their Youtube channel and came across their version of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream.



The piano-accompanied version made me reflect and look back on my years as a teen. High school in particular. What was my teenage dream then? I can only think of one thing: to be a writer. What I would be in the future. I wasn't thinking of how my crush would notice me because in the first place, I didn't have one in our all-girls school (I had a crush on a drummer who belonged to a band who played in our school when I was a sophomore. But that's it. The "crush" feeling vanished soon enough). I wasn't thinking of who my prom date would be because we didn't have a prom. All those scenes in a typical American high school movie - pretty cheerleaders, cute basketball players, proms - we didn't have them in our school. So I was left with nothing to think about but my writing, academics, the school paper, piano lessons, and my friends who are different.

If I were to place my friends and I in a social pyramid, I could say we were at the second to the bottom tier. We weren't losers, but we weren't popular. We weren't weird, but we were different. We would spend mornings beside the Chemistry Lab to review (if we had a test that day) or simply to talk about school, puppy love, musings, and things that we love. We were the type who would voluntarily sit at the front row of the bus during field trips when everyone else would prefer to sit at the back.

With true friends like them, I didn't feel there was anything missing in my high school life. But to be honest, I would've wanted us to have a prom. I would've wanted to dress up and see my friends all dressed up as well for a special night like prom. And had I truly liked someone then, I would've wanted to go to the prom with him, and we would dance a slow, romantic dance. Sweet. And that's the teenage dream I would secretly think of.

Well of course it didn't happen, and looking back, I can only wish it did. I once told my boyfriend that we didn't have a prom in high school and that I had never danced with anyone. So during our office Christmas Party, when the band was playing rock, upbeat tunes, and everyone was dancing their heads off on the dance floor, he danced with me. "Eh kasi hindi mo pa yun nae-experience, di ba?" (Because you haven't experienced it, right?), he said. So there. My first dance with somebody. It wasn't the slow, romantic dance I wanted in high school, but that dance is more than the fulfillment of my secret teenage dream. It's a dance with the one I love.

New Frames

Because I lost my eyeglasses during our office Christmas Party, I had no choice but to get a new pair. Here's how I look with it:

I look mean. So here's another photo:

Taken last Christmas when I was camwhoring in my room. How vain!

I love my new pair of eyeglasses. It's more stylish than my previous one. So maybe its getting lost is a blessing in disguise. Haha. And besides, it has quite a lot of scratches already so maybe indeed it's time for me to get a new one.

So with this new pair, I'll be facing the new year with something new to aid my vision. Sounds metaphorical, right? Well, maybe it is. Maybe my getting a new pair of eyeglasses is a sign for me to look at things in a new perspective and get over the things that stop me from seeing clearly.

Gifts

It’s Your birthday
Yet You gave me
So many gifts

The gift of family
The gift of friends
The gift of life

The gift of work
The gift of laughter
The gift of love

They’re so big
They can’t fit
In boxes.

They’re so precious
They must be guarded
All the time.

How wonderful Your gifts are!
I’ll never grow tired
Of unwrapping them.

-Katherine Lopez
26 December 2010

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Merry Christmas, fellow bloggers, poets, friends, everyone! :) I hope you all had a blessed one, and I hope you all had a great time! I had (and still have) colds and mild cough yesterday, but I still enjoyed celebrating with my family, giving gifts, opening gifts, and simply being thankful for everything that was given to me, material and non-material things.

Christmas 2010 is, so far, my happiest Christmas. I hope each Christmas will be the same, if not better. Cheers! :)

Cup of tea

Lately, I've been feeling what I dread every time I eat - I feel like throwing up after. I first felt this several months ago, and I thought it's just because of oily food, or eating something heavy after my stomach has been empty for so long. Or maybe I can no longer eat as much as I do before, so my packed lunch has shrunk in serving size, which is probably why my mom said I'm becoming slimmer (something I did not intend to do). When last week, I felt like throwing up again even if I didn't eat something oily, I kinda worried. Do I need to eat smaller amounts of food, smaller than it already is?

So I went to the doctor yesterday. The doctor asked to have my blood count checked. At the laboratory, the lady (nurse? lab person?) after having found the vein, pricked my right arm to extract blood. Nothing came out, and guess what she did next? She moved and moved the needle, trying to find my vein, while it's still inserted in my right arm. Ouch. It didn't hurt much though, but it stung! Like hello, she could've pulled that needle off my arm first when she couldn't find that freakin' vein! When she finally did, she stepped out of the extraction room after saying that we'll do another try. Then, another lady came in. She asked me from what arm usually does my blood get extracted from. I told her it's from the left (the first lady didn't ask me that. She could've asked me pala, instead of just moving that freakin' needle when she couldn't find the vein). So there. She inserted the needle in my left arm, and out came the blood.

I'm going back on Friday for the results. The doctor asked me if I'm taking medications or something. I said I've been taking iron supplements since I was 15 because of anemia. He said if my blood count is okay and I'm not anemic, those iron supplements could be causing that I-wanna-throw-up feeling. I hope it's just that and nothing serious. I'm going back on Friday for the results.

Anyway, in the meantime, whenever I feel like throwing up, I turn to a cup of tea to help me keep the food down. It works, so I kept packets of jasmine green tea in my office cabinet.

My cup and my tea

Thanks for this tea I haven't thrown up in the office after eating. I don't want that to happen, because I might not make it to the washroom and just leave a mess on the floor (eew!). And to my dear stomach, please keep the food down. I seriously want to eat without worrying that I might throw up after. And I want to enjoy eating. Okay? Work with me, please. :)

Ghost

You creep in
Quietly, unknowingly
Like cold wind
That sends shivers
Down my spine.

You show your face
When you’re uninvited
And linger, bring me down
On my knees
In fear.

I try to shut you out
Lock the door
Hide under the sheets
But you’re the ghost
I can’t run from.

-Katherine Lopez
29 November 2010

M2M and Memories of Tween Life

It's been a week since I've been on M2M mode, listening and downloading their songs. This Norwegian duo got popular in 2000, and how I loved their songs! I was 12 then, and I found their songs catchy and easy to sing. The lyrics tell stories that I think young girls (and boys? :) ) can relate to. And since I was 12 when M2M became famous, I was the perfect audience for M2M's genre of music: bubblegum pop.

I still love their songs even if I'm now 22. Here are my top five favorites, all from their album, Shades of Purple:

1. Mirror Mirror



This is my ultimate favorite M2M song. It speaks of how you can't deny the truth to yourself when you're faced with it. Hence, this line: Mirror, mirror hanging on the wall. You don't have to tell me who's the biggest fool of all. The gray, cloudy weather type of lighting in the music video reinforces the sad lyrics of the song.
Favorite Line: Aside from the one I've mentioned above, it's this: If only wishes could be dreams and all my dreams could come true, there will be two of us standing here in front of you.

2. Don't Say You Love Me



This upbeat song is M2M's first hit. It was included in the soundtrack of Pokemon The Movie, so the music video shows parts of the movie. What's the song about? Pretty simple: a girl telling her suitor/admirer/whatever to take it slow.
Favorite Lines: Don't say you love me. You don't even know me. If you really want me, then give me some time.

3. The Day You Went Away



For me, this is the saddest song in the album. The cold in Norway, as shown in the music video, goes with sad lyrics of the song. The title pretty says what the song is all about: the day the girl in the song and her boyfriend/significant other broke up and parted ways.
Favorite Lines: I remember date and time. September 22nd, Sunday, 25 after 9. In the doorway, with your case, no longer shouting at each other, there were tears on our faces.

4. Don't Mess With My Love



The song speaks of betrayal by a friend because that friend stole your boyfriend (what a very high school-ish scenario, although it happens to grownups, too). So the song intended for that friend. The title says it all: back off!
Favorite Lines: I thought you were a friend of mine, but I was wrong. You tried to fit into the arms where I belong.

5. Girl In Your Dreams



When I said earlier that M2M's songs tell stories, this is one with a very clear story. As I did my surfing about this song, I found out that this is Marion Raven's (the one with long, dark, wavy hair in M2M) first composition, and that this is for her first boyfriend who broke up with her.
Favorite Lines: Maybe I don't have the blond hair you like. Or maybe I don't have eyes like the sky. And I'm not sure if I'm the girl in your dreams, but I can show you what love means.

Pretty Boy used to be among my favorites, too, but I think I've outgrown that song already. :) I love the acoustic version. And speaking of acoustic version, I have cassette tapes of both the acoustic and non-acoustic versions of M2M songs. Haha! I bought the two even the songs are just the same.

I find it a little weird that their voices doesn't sound so little during live or acoustic performances. Maybe the editing for the album does something to their voices, which is sad because they have beautiful singing voices.

Too bad the duo separated. They now both have careers as solo artists. I wish there would be a reunion, and they would have a concert or tour here in the Philippines. I would definitely buy tickets and watch, and enjoy their songs as well as my trip down memory lane.

Model

“Wear this,” they say.
And she strips off her clothes,
Puts on the ones
She is asked to.

“Look like this,” they say.
And she changes her face
As they paint it, hides it
Behind a mask.

“Work it,” they say.
And she smiles, frowns,
Laughs, stares, acts
Like someone else.

“It’s a wrap,” they say.
And she looks in the mirror,
Wipes her face, finds her way back
To her old, real self

Her bare face
Clear, soft, free,
Touched, caressed
By the cold breeze.

Her  hair down
Flowing and full of life
Swaying, dancing
To the rhythm of her walk.

It lasts the night.
The sun rises
And she is in
For another day of pretension.

-Katherine Lopez
07 November 2010

Late Dinners

I’m starving.
But I dare not
Get something
To eat
That would pass
As a decent meal.
A small pack of crackers
Will do.

I’m waiting
For this night
Like I always do.
My stomach moans,
Begging for food.
But I patiently, silently
Wait for you,
Not minding the clock,
Nor the grumbles I hear.

It’s time to go,
I hear you say.
Dinner is served
At last.
I slowly take in
Morsels, savoring them,
Like this night
That I’m with you.

-Katherine Lopez
21 November 2010

=======

Grilled Chicken Rosemary during one of our late dinners.
Thank you.

New Hair

Last week, I've decided on a new look. I would still  keep my layered hair, but I would add full bangs. The type that would cover my huge forehead entirely. Here's my new look:



My friends in the office have reacted positively to my new haircut. They say it's nice and it suits me. It took me around three days to get used to how I look. :)

The last time I had bangs like this was when I was in kindergarten, that's why I used to call this kind of bangs "kinder bangs." Haha.

So this is the second change I did in how I look; the first one was my shorter-than-my-usual-hair-length haircut. So what would be next? Highlights? I don't think so. I love my black hair, but who knows? I might change my mind. :)

When the wind gets cold

Cold air, especially in the morning,  is a sure sign that Christmas is around the corner. With the cooler temperature, we struggle to get out of bed every morning because burying ourselves beneath the sheets seems the most wonderful thing to do in times like this.

When the wind gets cold. Paglamig ng Hangin. How I love this Christmas song, and when I was still in college, I would look forward to singing this with the ICTUS choir for caroling. Its poignant lyrics and melody can warm, move, and touch hearts in one way or another. Whenever we sing this song, I ponder on the lyrics, and I always think that Paglamig ng Hangin is a song of longing. Nothing can be colder than Christmas spent away from the ones you love.

Paglamig ng hangin, hatid ng Pasko
Nananariwa sa 'king gunita
Ang mga nagdaan nating Pasko
Ang Noche Buena't Simbang Gabi

Nostalgia. You look back at the past, recounting happy memories with the people you treasure: family, friends, your other half, significant others.

Narito na ang Pasko
At nangungulila'ng puso ko
Hanap-hanap, pinapangarap
Init ng pagsasalong tigib sa tuwa
Ng mag-anak na nagdiwang
Sa sabsaban ng unang Pasko

The song's refrain sums up the longing that is felt. By whom? The song's composer, the singer, people listening to the song. You. The sense of longing intensifies when you realize it's already Christmas day and you're not with the people you want to be with.  So you continue to look back at times bygone - your cherished memories keeping you company as if to make up for the absence of the ones you love.

Sa pag-awit muli ng himig Pasko
Nagliliyab sa paghahangad
Makapiling kayo sa gabi ng Pasko
Sa alaala'y magkasama tayo

"At Christmas, all roads lead home," says American writer Marjorie Holmes. People go back to where they came from - to their families. Bus stations are packed with passengers going home to the provinces. At the airport, hugs and kisses await the family members going home from abroad. And for those who have no province to go home to, like me, going home is looking forward to going to church and attending mass as a family and to the Christmas meals shared with cousins and relatives (yummy pasta! This is a holiday staple in my family :) ).

Paglamig ng Hangin. The holidays are fast approaching. We get excited and sentimental at the same time. We look forward to spending it with our families and loved ones. But no matter where we are, and no matter where are loved ones are, I believe Christmas resides in our hearts (cheesy as it sounds), so we'll always be connected, whether we live in one house or we're miles and oceans apart.

Excited to sing again!

The participants for our office Christmas Party in December were emailed the lineup of songs this morning. I got thrilled seeing my name in the email. Not that I only knew this morning that I'm going to sing, but I got thrilled when I saw who's going to sing what, the solo assignments even if they're still temporary, and the songs we're going to sing.

It's going to be Glee-themed Christmas Party, so, of course, we're going to sing Glee songs. I remember my officemate, Steph, and I auditioning for the intermission number. We prepared a duet, which is not even a Glee song (and we kinda insisted that we're going to sing since it's what we have prepared). Haha! Then, we were asked to sing individually any song we like. Steph sang Defying Gravity, and I sang my all-time favorite, Someone To Watch Over Me. After we sang, one of the "judges" said, "Very nice." It was enough to make me smile all day. :)

Not that my voice is impeccable like Lea Michele's. But I really love to sing. Bursting into song is like second nature to me. Plus, the last time I sang was during my last year in college (minus singing-in-the-shower sessions of course) when I was part of my organization's (UP ICTUS) choir.

Speaking of the choir, here's a photo of the choir taken in December 2008 during one of our caroling nights:

At Nikka Munion's House

Ooooh memories... :) I wonder how the ICTUS Choir is doing now. It's that time of the year again, when in a few weeks, they'll go caroling again to raise funds for the kids and scholars. I want to hear them sing again (but they don't have to go all the way to my house because of the heavy traffic). I just want to visit our tambayan, and leisurely listen to their voices. Maybe during the homecoming? Why not? :)

Faces

I had the chance to draw when I was on sick leave last month (I couldn't walk properly so I didn't go to work for a couple of days). Armed with my then unused oil pastels, I picked up my sketchpad and immersed myself in the therapeutic effects of drawing. Aside from forgetting for a while that I was in pain, I was able to come up with this:

Nicole
October 01, 2010

Why did I name her Nicole? My inspiration for this drawing was Nicole Fox, America's Next Top Model Cycle 13 winner. She's my favorite among the 14 contestants, and I'm so glad she won. Cycle 13 was being replayed for the nth time on Star World when I drew this. I know my drawing doesn't look like her (I didn't intend for it to look like her), but her red, wavy hair prompted me to draw a red-haired girl as well. Plus, Nicole Fox loves to draw portraits, so I thought of trying it as well since I couldn't think of anything else to draw.

The following day, I drew another face. Here it is:

Clara
October 02, 2010

I started drawing this the day after I drew Nicole, but I didn't finish this on the same day (I forgot when). Anyway, I named the girl in the drawing Clara because my inspiration for this was Clara Perez, the main character in Arlene J. Chai's novel, Eating Fire and Drinking Water. It was the book that I was reading that time, and on the cover was a girl with a brown, wavy hair. I didn't copy it, but it prompted me to draw something similar.

Speaking of faces, in the November issue of Women's Health Philippines, my face appears! Haha! I was featured in the magazine's beauty pages for their makeover article. Here it is:

Yup that's me! To all those who gave me nothing but compliments about the photo, thank you! :) Feeling ko ang ganda ko. Haha! (I feel so pretty. Haha!) This was shot a couple of months ago. The day before the shoot, Denise and Kim from WH asked me if I'm free the next day and if I could be given a "makeover" for this article. I said yes, and two months after, my photo appears in the magazine.

I remember what Sam Gallardo, the makeup artist who did the looks for the makeover article, told me while she was doing my makeup: Yung mga hindi palaging nagme-makeup, sila yung mga magaganda talaga. Maganda kang bata (Those who do not usually wear makeup are the ones who are really pretty. You are a pretty girl). To which I couldn't say anything but thanks.

So it's not really what you put on your face. Whether you're a makeup junkie or a girl who prefers the "no makeup look", what matters is how you see and carry yourself and how you deal with other people. That, I think, is real beauty - one that's not only on the outside but on the inside as well.

Sana Ay Ikaw Na Nga (I hope you're the one)

I dream of singing this song with an all-girl choir. It speaks of how one hopes that the person s/he has finally met and whom s/he is together with will be the person s/he will be spending the rest of her/his life with. It's an emotional song, and if sung in the context of true love, I guess one can't help but shed a tear or two (or buckets?).

It's a song composed by Cecille Azarcon and originally sung by Filipino balladeer Basil Valdez. The Filipino lyrics are beautiful, and if I translate them into English, I think I won't be doing justice to the song (I'm not an effective translator). So for my readers who don't speak my language, I hope you appreciate the song's beautiful melody.

Kindly click the link below to download and listen to the chorale version . I don't know who sang it, but I love it that I can listen to it over and over again. I hope this song moves you in the same way that it moved, and continues to move, me.
http://g.a.h.y.aimini.net/play/?fid=YhAG3TbZh0NE2NLUSECA&tp=7.wma

Images of Inspiration - Buildings

My recent trip to Hong Kong had me clicking away at every chance I get. Now, I have a bunch of inspiring images to post and share with you. Here are the photos I took on my way to the airport for the flight back home. I don't know what the names of the buildings are because I didn't have the chance to ask and take down notes. But I love how they stand out against the blue morning sky. Enjoy!

It was a pleasant sight to see before leaving the city. I'm so thankful to have been given the opportunity to visit Hong Kong and get a glimpse of what it has to offer. Like what I've said in my previous entry, I hope I'll get another chance to visit Hong Kong (plus other countries as well :D ), stay there longer, and have more experiences and stories to bring back home.

Images of Inspiration - City Lights

Still fresh from my recent trip to Hong Kong for an event, I'm sharing with you some photos of the city I took. I love how the streets are so brightly lit because of the light coming from the various shops. The cold weather made walking on the streets even more pleasurable. I wasn't able to take note of some of the street names. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy the photos.

Gloucester Road

Immigration Tower along Gloucester Road

Harbour Road

The colorful lights stand out.

Approaching the bridge

Outside Langham Place in Mong Kok, Kowloon

A busy street in Mong Kok

Just one of the many shops lining the street

View of Hong Kong

I couldn't help but marvel and get envious at how progressive the city is. Transportation is efficient, and the streets are pedestrian-friendly. I love my experience in Hong Kong, and I will do my best to visit it again in the future.

P.S. It was my first time to go abroad. Finally, my passport had been stamped. :)

Black and White Drawings

Because when I was younger, I was trying to see if I could come up with decent drawings, I had a sketchpad in which just drew what I could. I like drawing flowers in vases, as well as other inanimate objects. In this post, I'm sharing with you my black-and-white drawings a.k.a my experimenting with pencil shadings and shadows.I just edited them a bit in Photoshop because the shots were dark. Here they are:

(I used the Faber Castell triangular pencil in this one. I no longer have it, and I think the book stores and supplies stores don't have it as well. I made this sometime in 2001.)

(This is my favorite in this category. I was trying to create a shadow of the vase. I hope the black thing under the vase looks like one. By the way, the white line in the "shadow" isn't there in the real drawing. I wonder where that came from. I drew this on October 9, 2001, my 13th birthday.)

(Little Feast 1. This is my second favorite in this category. I drew this on October 12, 2001.)

(Little Feast 2. Drawn on October 13, 2001. No wonder this is similar to the previous one. I drew them on two consecutive days.)

(Fruit Basket. Drawn on January 4, 2002. I don't know what fruits they are actually. I just drew round "fruits". But one of them is an apple. :) )

(By Threes. My inspiration for this one came from a small vase with three fake roses in it displayed in the bathroom. I drew this on April 1, 2002.)

(What flower is that? I don't know. On April 29, 2002, I just drew random dots on the top part of the paper, then connected them and tried to make something out of it. I'd like to believe the drawing isn't that bad, is it?)

(Bouquet of Buds. I drew this on April 28, 2002. My inspiration for this was a bunch of fake flowers I saw in the house. I think it was a school project of mine.)

So there they are. My artworks. I plan on drawing again soon. I just hope I can come up with decent ones since it's been years since I last drew. Wish me luck. :)

P.S. I would like to thank Lisa for these awards:

Now, I'm passing them on to Jingle and my dear friend, Gia. Congratulations!

Flowers in a Vase and Other Drawings

When I was 12 until when I was 13 or 14, I used to draw inanimate objects and landscapes. I'm not really good at it, so I would watch my classmates who were gifted with this talent draw and do as they did. And then, as I got older and got busier with school and other things, this interest got buried under my other interests.

I'm not a frustrated artist. In this entry, I would like to share with you some of my drawings which were part of my attempts to be a well-rounded person. Here they are:

(This drawing is dated Feb. 23-24, 2001. I used Faber Castell colored pencils.)

(I also used Faber Castell colored pencils in this one. I wasn't able to put the date, but I know I made this in 2001 also.)

(Unlike the previous two, I used Pentel oil pastels in this one. I loved how oil pastels stained my hand, and I loved how easily they glided on paper as I color.)

(Flowers in a Vase. This is my favorite among the four. Like the first two drawings, I also used Faber Castell colored pencils in this one.)

So there - a peek into my attempt to enter the world of visual arts. Good thing I managed to keep them, so even if I don't draw anymore, I can just take them out and think that once upon a time, I thought of myself as a gifted child that I could do almost anything. Hahaha!

But these works of mine also show me that if I was able to draw things like those before, then I could probably draw again. I just have to equip myself with my colored pencils and oil pastels and come up with something again. :)

Green Images of Inspiration

I often see Images of Inspiration posts in Design is Mine , a design blog I frequently visit. Because of that, I was encouraged to come up with my own images of inspiration as well. Here they are in their green glory:

(The University of the Philippines Sunken Garden. I took this photo last June during an Ultimate beginners' tournament.)

(Water lilies. I also took this photo at the compound of old houses functioning as art galleries where these photos were shot.)

(More water lilies.)

(My favorite shot. The leaves are forming a shade from the afternoon sun.)

All images above were shot using my phone camera, because as usual, I didn't have a digital camera with me. I should bring one all the time, or better yet, maybe I should buy my own because our digital camera at home is for the whole family's use. But maybe I'll practice first using my phone camera, and let's see if I could come up with better shots. :)